Things Fall Apart

I haven’t blogged in more than a week because I have been swamped with presentations, teaching and tons of reading. This past week, I also chose the list of 65 works I will be tested on for the MA exam. I also got accepted to present at two conferences. My research paper’s title (for both conferences) is: “Second Wave Latino/a Graphic Novel and Literary Studies: Latino/a and Much More” where I will explore the aesthetic form in Wilfredo’s Santiago’s In My Darkest Hour and the implications of categorizing narratives by authors’ racial, political and sexual identity. The first conference is in less than a month, and I have to revisit the text and do so much preparation. And the coolest part of this quarter is the fact that I am taking a graduate seminar on Hemingway and Faulker where I can externalize my obsession! And guess what? I actually enjoy teaching this quarter! My course theme is music and culture, and I am looking forward to next week’s discussion on “phallic power” in rock music!

As my father has always taught me, it is a blessing to be busy. So before I begin my rant, I want to say on a more serious note alhamdullilah, praise Allah.  I feel really grateful to have the blessings that I have–to study, to read, to walk, to eat, to work, to stay warm, to have loved ones.

But even work needs to be done in moderation. Especially when you see yourself losing control and losing sight of your center. And like all bad habits, the first step to rehabilitation is to accept you have a condition. My condition remains unnamed (I’ll call it the afflictions of grad school for now–or disorganization, or insomnia, or absentmindedness–whichever you prefer), but this post is the first step to begin centering myself once more.

Let me take you through my week:

Friday (last week): Overslept and had to cancel the class I was teaching at 11:30am. I faked illness to my students! How lame is that?

SaturdayMonday (last week): Booked a last-minute flight to NY to visit my girlfriend Nataly. That was quite nice. That is, until I realized I brought only 1 contact lens for my right eye. Did I think I was going to be a pirate for the weekend? Argh!

Tuesday: Had the brilliant idea to drink a cup of Cuban espresso coffee after 7pm. Stayed up until 4am with the jitters only to wake up 3 hours later to teach.

Wednesday: Ended up giving the most boring lecture of my life. I moved and spoke in slow motion and scribbled on the chalk board things I couldn’t understand. That same evening, I passed out while reading Faulkner–lights and computer on, books open and papers scattered. I was unable to submit my reading response before midnight.

Thursday: Woke up and realized that I’d passed out while working and had to feign illness once more (but this time to my professor), asking her to please accept a late response because I had been feeling a bit under the weather the night before. To top off my morning, I mistakenly brushed my teeth with my facewash.  A few hours later during Hemingway/Faulkner class, I suggested that a character in Faulkner’s “The Leg” was a necrophiliac. Everyone stared. A misreading from lack of sleep, perhaps?

Friday: Only less than an hour into today and I am realizing that I’ve spend over an hour creating this post. It’s late and I’m tired. And a pattern just occurred to me…lack of sleep?  That could explain the mishaps of the week.


Goodnight world.


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